Human Auditory Prompt

Saturday

Lab notes: Have recently noticed disturbing trend towards deafness in humans whilst in their bed. They definitely know I am there, but do not seem to hear my purrs or reasonable requests for food or access to the outdoors. Situation especially severe if the noise box in the corner of their room has not started beeping.

Hypothesis: humans needs trigger noises to become able to hear. Purring ineffectual, must test other sounds to find alternative to beeping box.

Test day 1: Urination in corner of room – extremely effective. Near instantaneous reaction to the sound and acknowledgement of my needs.

However, standard lab conditions jeopardised by washing of carpet and moving of furniture to deny access to my experimental area. Shall have to formulate alternate approach for tomorrow. Or maybe they will be more sensitised and respond to purring without additional prompts.

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Human Auditory Prompt

Saturday

Lab notes: Have recently noticed disturbing trend towards deafness in humans whilst in their bed. They definitely know I am there, but do not seem to hear my purrs or reasonable requests for food or access to the outdoors. Situation especially severe if the noise box in the corner of their room has not started beeping.

Hypothesis: humans needs trigger noises to become able to hear. Purring ineffectual, must test other sounds to find alternative to beeping box.

Test day 1: Urination in corner of room – extremely effective. Near instantaneous reaction to the sound and acknowledgement of my needs.

However, standard lab conditions jeopardised by washing of carpet and moving of furniture to deny access to my experimental area. Shall have to formulate alternate approach for tomorrow. Or maybe they will be more sensitised and respond to purring without additional prompts.

Dog star attack!

  • Hammer -check
  • compass -check
  • scuba gear -check (*)
  • tent -check
  • lab notes -check
  • ticket to Russia

Can’t stop, got to get my expedition together to study the meteorite impact site. Thor’s helmet was recently imaged in Canis Major

Thor’s Helmet Nebula (NGC 2359) in the constellation of Canis Major. Credit and copyright: Rolf Wahl Olsen.

This can only mean that the Avengers already know what I have long known – the Dog Star is attacking us! It was no asteroid but a deliberate attack by the canines. They will be showing up to fetch any time now, so we must get to Chelyabinsk to defend it at once. I predict the meteor will turn out to be a very large stick, but I have to get there to prove my case, or those naieve fools will look for rocks as usual!

(*) It landed in a lake, now it makes sense!

Your garden variety stem cells

Have heard of something called ‘stem cells’. Apparently they are basic animal cells that can grow into other kinds of cells. They might be a more successful way of developing thumbs as mandated by Bossy Lab Chief Kitty. No samples available in the inadequately stocked supply room called ‘the kitchen’. Found a promising sample of simple biomatter in the garden and brought it into lab area. Very pleased with specimen’s potential. My excitement draws attention of human. Sample removed. Am told ‘earthworms belong in the garden’.  The luddites strike another blow against science.

Thumbs the second

Monday

Early result on the thumb research – apparently growth can be stimulated by drinking milk! I’ve seen it on tv.

I knew we were taken from our litter too soon and should not have been weaned so early. When married to Freud’s stated view that thumb sucking in children is a form of sexual behaviour, I have formed my own hypothesis: Suckling nipples provides milk, which enables thumb growth. Thumb sucking produces an even better experience than drinking milk, which we are being denied.

Denying cats things is immoral. Next step is to find this ‘Cravendale’ on a map and go there.

Postscript – cats have many more nipples than thumbs, possibly an evolutionary compensation against our slow thumb growth?

Kitten WLTM Thumbs

Sunday

Bossy kitten has requested new avenue of research. She wishes to grow ‘thumbs’. Agree they seem very useful as attempts to secure food often thwarted by poorly designed packaging that will not open with tooth or claw. Starting with literature review. Thanks to ebooks, this is now an option available to those of us without thumbs. In the past, I would have been stuck, unable to turn those thin pages.

When art divides kittens from science

Today is about topology, specifically knot theory and testing the generalized Poincaré conjecture which states that Every simply connected, closed n-manifold is homeomorphic to the n-sphere.

This poses many problems for the polymath kitten of curious mind. Firstly to prove that is true for every case is either extremely time-consuming (in the absence of my requested infinite monkey assistants) or requires proof of the specific case and then that it holds true no matter the variables. Secondly to find the manifold. Finally to test if the results are the same shape or not.

So far I have tested with red wool, black wool and sparkly purple wool. Red and black gave similar results, with the result definitely not being two dimensional, but very like in appearance to 3 dimensional balls of knotted wool (saving colour obviously). Purple wool snapped in my teeth repeatedly and I got sent out of the room. Science is once more neglected by humans pursuing their ends. Something called ‘crochet’, I think this is where the old science arts divide I have read about originates.