Bad day for science


Bad day for science. Always so much planning to do. Carefully lining up all elements. Bossy Lab Chief Kitty stole my physics and published results as her own. Ate something called a COSHH. It had flavour.


Ultimate food: Chuna or Ticken?


Working on making the ultimate food stuff, breeding tuna with chicken! Science is expensive. Have brought in marketing kitty to do audience research and attract sponsorship.

I am focussing on sourcing tuna, very tricky to fit through the catflap.

Marketing kitty reports discouraging early results. Focus group not enthused by “chuna” as they can’t tell the difference or “ticken” because they think it sounds boring. They have identified a third option, crossing a tuna with a pasty, to create “Tasty”.

Bloody marketing! I can’t breed a pasty with anything. If I could, that American Pie film franchise would have run very differently.

Your garden variety stem cells

Have heard of something called ‘stem cells’. Apparently they are basic animal cells that can grow into other kinds of cells. They might be a more successful way of developing thumbs as mandated by Bossy Lab Chief Kitty. No samples available in the inadequately stocked supply room called ‘the kitchen’. Found a promising sample of simple biomatter in the garden and brought it into lab area. Very pleased with specimen’s potential. My excitement draws attention of human. Sample removed. Am told ‘earthworms belong in the garden’.  The luddites strike another blow against science.

Kitten WLTM Thumbs


Bossy kitten has requested new avenue of research. She wishes to grow ‘thumbs’. Agree they seem very useful as attempts to secure food often thwarted by poorly designed packaging that will not open with tooth or claw. Starting with literature review. Thanks to ebooks, this is now an option available to those of us without thumbs. In the past, I would have been stuck, unable to turn those thin pages.

When art divides kittens from science

Today is about topology, specifically knot theory and testing the generalized Poincaré conjecture which states that Every simply connected, closed n-manifold is homeomorphic to the n-sphere.

This poses many problems for the polymath kitten of curious mind. Firstly to prove that is true for every case is either extremely time-consuming (in the absence of my requested infinite monkey assistants) or requires proof of the specific case and then that it holds true no matter the variables. Secondly to find the manifold. Finally to test if the results are the same shape or not.

So far I have tested with red wool, black wool and sparkly purple wool. Red and black gave similar results, with the result definitely not being two dimensional, but very like in appearance to 3 dimensional balls of knotted wool (saving colour obviously). Purple wool snapped in my teeth repeatedly and I got sent out of the room. Science is once more neglected by humans pursuing their ends. Something called ‘crochet’, I think this is where the old science arts divide I have read about originates.

Needed infinite monkeys at bargain rates


Crude diffraction grating has been moved to the back portal. No marked improvement in the quality of outside worlds, but assume if we use it an infinite number of times, we must find some good ones. Quite tiring going in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out. Infinite assistant lab monkeys would be very useful, but bossy kitten rejected my grant proposal.